All ain't fair in love and Idol

If there’s one thing that American Idol takes pains to remind us of, it’s that everything is up to you, the home viewers.

Upset about Jessica Sierra or Nikko Smith getting booted off? It’s your fault; you failed them. Stunned that Vonzell Solomon landed in last week’s bottom three? You put her there. Can’t fathom how Scott and Anthony have survived this far? You’re the ones voting for them.

As Simon and others have said countless times, it’s a fair competition. And it usually is, but there was something decidedly unfair about tonight’s theme. Idol wannabes were asked to pick a song from the year they were born – and with the disparity in age amongst the contestants, that meant some songs were a decade older than others.

In other words, for the first time, the contestants weren’t playing on the same field. I won’t presume to judge which years were better than others, but I think I can safely assume that they weren’t all equal, leaving some of our friends tonight at a bit of a disadvantage.

(And while we’re on the subject of fairness, how in the world do the producers get away with putting Hall & Oates in the crowd while one of the contestants takes on one of their songs?)

NADIA TURNER looked as though she was trying to channel Tina Turner as she did in her successful semifinal run, coming out especially ’fro’d out with a whole lot of leg showing. Unfortunately, the performance didn’t match the appearance.

She sang something from 1977 by Crystal Gayle (yeah, that’s how memorable it was). Randy didn’t even recognize the song, and that’s never a good sign – if someone who works in the biz can’t place it, what hope is there for the millions of viewers at home?

Nadia immediately demonstrated the problem with this week’s theme. At 28 years old, she’s a member of the “old guard” – contestants born in the ’70s. Most of the music from that decade – and remember, she only had one year to pick from – is foreign to the show’s core audience. It has long since slipped away from standard rock stations, but hasn’t settled into the oldies category just yet.

I’ll give Nadia credit for one thing, though: She contorts her face better than anyone else on the show. The most memorable part of an otherwise blasé performance was the sly smile she flashed right at the end. Still, I think Simon may be onto something when he warned that “I think you could go home after that.”

BO BICE had to go back a couple more years to 1975, and tried to avoid the same obscurity problems that Nadia faced by picking the widely known “Freebird” by Lynard Skynard. The song was obviously popular with the studio audience, who cheered through Bo’s intro clip.

The problem with a choice like “Freebird” is it is, as Simon called it, a “sacred song.” Which makes it hard to meet the expectations that come with performing it, especially when you’re Bo, and through a series of excellent earlier showings you’ve jacked up the expectations even more.

He didn’t meet. The opening salvo of the song was dreary and forgettable. The transition into the uptempo ending (along with the uptempo bit itself) saved it from being an utter train wreck, but it was still completely unsatisfying, Randy and Paula’s hyperbole notwithstanding.

ANWAR ROBINSON also had to dip into the ’70s, going with 1979’s “I’ll Never Love this Way Again” by Dionne Warwick. (Insert your own Psychic Hotline joke here.)

OK, Anwar, you can hit the big notes. I get it. Technical proficiency aside – and for the musically uneducated masses that keep this show afloat, what does that mean, anyway? – he has yet to grab my attention and hang onto it for a full song.

Still, there was nothing wrong with his effort tonight. There just wasn’t anything great about it. And at this stage of the game, not being great can be costly.

ANTHONY FEDOROV is the youngest competitor left at age 19, so he got to pick the most “contemporary” song with 1985’s “Every Time You Go Away” by Paul Young. He could barely be heard through the first two lines, which is probably a good thing given his karaoke-itis – he seems to always need a line or two to settle into his voice.

He needed more than a line or two tonight, though. For the most part, the kid just has not been able to cut it on the bigger stage with the bigger band behind him. Drop the instruments and just let him sing, and he’s wonderful – just as he was on the song’s final line, belted out as the music faded.

Surprisingly, Simon thought it was a pretty good performance. Perhaps he couldn’t bear to bash the teenager for a third straight week. But if Simon showed sympathy for Anthony, does that mean that the voters won’t?

VONZELL SOLOMON picked one of the most fun songs of the night, 1984’s “Let’s Hear It for the Boy” by Deniece Williams. Before she even stepped on the stage, I applauded that choice. I knew it would fit her perfectly, and once she got going, I almost half-expected Scott to jump out on stage and do somersaults in his best Willard impression from Footloose.

The song was a perfect fit, if not a perfect performance. Don’t get me wrong; she did a wonderful job, but I expected more. And that’s entirely Vonzell’s fault – her performances of recent weeks have ratcheted up the expectations. At times, it seemed she was more concerned with her movements around the stage than singing the song itself, which wound up leaving the performance just a little bit dry.

But I’ll say this about Baby V – she might just be the only true pop star left in the bunch. She’s not the only one with star quality, but she’s probably the only one left that fits snugly into the pop star mold (especially after that flashy disco-ball top she tossed on tonight).

Before he even took the stage, SCOTT SAVOL just might have made this the most shocking episode of Idol yet. He actually – you may want to sit down for this – showed glimpses of a personality, forcibly claiming that he’s the true rocker of the final eight.

With Daryl Hall and John Oates sitting amongst the crowd, Scott sang “She’s Gone,” the duo’s song from 1976. He tried to go low at the beginning of the first two verses, and I’m not sure if it worked or not – I was too distracted by the frog in his throat.

But then he found his groove and his old voice, the one that had pushed him through this far. And he found something else as well – a little bit of stage presence. He was bouncing all over the stage, clearly enjoying himself for the first time in a long, long while.

The big boy can sing, for sure. Better than some, not as well as some others still left, so there’s no way he’s a serious contender. However, with some production work and some more guidance, I can certainly see him cutting a record.

CARRIE UNDERWOOD sounded like she might have a little bit of a cold during her intro clip, though you couldn’t tell it when she belted out 1983’s “Love is a Battlefield” by Pat Benetar. For the first time, she displayed an edginess in her voice. It worked for the most part, though there were times when it seemed as though she was trying too hard (as Simon said, “like a kitten who wants to be a tiger”).

It just wasn’t quite authentic – especially when she tried to bring the same edge to her stage act. Though it was nice to see her make an effort, even if it wasn’t much more than a little hip swaying and shoulder twisting (though I loved the kick-punch at the end – she must be picking up some pointers from Bo).

Idol addicts may remember that she had a slight mix-up with the lyrics during her first Hollywood audition. “Hopefully I get the words right this week,” she said during her intro clip after recalling how she constantly butchered lyrics as a kid. She had another slight mix-up again tonight, though probably only the most diehard Pat Benetar fans would have caught it had Randy not called her on it.

In Carrie’s defense, she has to take a well-known song that she’s heard, and no doubt sang along to, hundreds of times, and condense it to less than two minutes. Can’t say that I blame her for forgetting which words go where. I’m looking forward to hearing her sing a full-length piece, and she will unquestionably make it far enough to do that.

If nothing else, CONSTANTINE MAROULIS showed his gutsy side by attempting 1975’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. A song that everybody knows and nobody can sing (the whole thing, anyway). This song could have sank Constantine, sending him to his first bottom-three sweat-out, or it could have vaulted him to the front of the pack.

With all due respect to Paula Abdul (and really, who pays attention to her anymore anyway?), it did neither. It’s no surprise that Constantine is certainly no Freddie Mercury, whose vocal range was legendary. But the guy who hasn’t wanted to be a rocker for a few weeks didn’t fall flat, either, which is the risk you take with a choice like “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Constantine enjoyed the benefit of an exuberant lighting and camera crew as well; however, the song’s truncated arrangement did him no favors. Just as you allowed yourself to get into the performance, he veered off in another direction. That’s the magic of Queen’s version, but it takes the depth of a full-length song to pull it off.

At any rate, Constantine is a mortal lock to sail through to next week, along with Carrie. Vonzell should be, and Bo probably will be, though I wouldn’t put it past those quirky voters to scare either one of them by inexplicably sending them into the bottom three.

But the other four remaining contestants – Nadia, Anthony, Anwar and Scott – should feel far more anxious. Simon was less than impressed with Scott, but his disappointment will be counter-balanced by the nod of approval given by Hall & Oates when Ryan Seacrest sought their opinion. And Scott’s sudden personality influx will likely bolster the fan base that for some reason saw fit to keep him alive for weeks.

Anthony has managed to avoid the bottom three after two straight wretched performances. This was much better – still far from good, but Simon’s vote of confidence might help him survive another week, even if he has to suffer through another few scary minutes standing next to Seacrest.

And Anwar’s just too nice to kick off the show. There is greatness there. It hasn’t shown up yet, which is why he’ll land in the bottom three. But it is there, and I hope we’ll see it before he leaves.

Which leaves Nadia. I’m not sure how much of fan base she has – I get the sense that even when she was on a roll, the fans were loving her performances more than they were loving her. Without a solid fan base to carry her through the rough spots, she needs to be dazzling each time out. She wasn’t tonight.

Drawing the opening slot didn’t help. Leading off the show, she needed to be memorable. She wasn’t. By this time tomorrow, she’ll be a memory.