Musical to our ears? Not on Idol

American Idol had a rough week. First came the untimely exit of Jessica Sierra – the Florida teen’s banishment from the show seemingly awoken a sleeping fan base that couldn’t muster enough votes to keep her around, but sure mustered plenty of outrage after she was booted.

Then came the seemingly annual dirt-digging exposition courtesy of The Smoking Gun, who revealed that Scott Savol – already one of the most unlikable characters on the show – has a rap sheet. Toss in the fact that Idol was bumped from the top spot in the ratings by CSI (with more competition this week by the NCAA basketball title game), and the show could have used a good night to keep itz buzz alive.

This wasn’t the show.

The theme this week was classical musicals, which could have been fun. It was anything but, as most of the contestants settled on boring ballads that were eminently forgettable. The judges’ comments fit nicely into their predetermined roles – Randy thought most everything was a’ight, Paula was proud of everyone, and Simon was extraordinarily hard to please.

SCOTT SAVOL came out sporting some new threads, but that was the only thing flashy about his performance “The Impossible Dream” from Man of La Mancha. It started average, and didn’t ascend from there.

Give credit to the big boy for making a mention of his mama in the intro, which I’m sure he’s hoping makes him look like somebody’s son instead of a brute who roughed up his fiancée. Scott certainly had built up some momentum in previous weeks, which carried him past a ghastly effort last week, but that momentum was almost assuredly derailed by the news that broke about his past. He should make his first appearance in the bottom three.

By the way, has anyone else noticed how often Paula interrupts Simon? Doesn’t matter what he says, she either yells at him or kisses him.

With every show, CONSTANTINE MAROULIS seems to be distancing himself further from the whole rocker image. (Perhaps because he knows on that plane alone, he can’t compete with Bo.) Now, he talks about his dramatic roots and shows us his cultured side in the preview clip, introducing his choice of “My Funny Valentine” from Babes in Arms.

A little dangerous bringing up Frank Sinatra – dude, you do not want to invite comparisons to The Voice – but Maroulis is quite the contrast from Ol’ Blue Eyes. His performance wasn’t stellar, but it was good enough. The last note was awfully flimsy. I understand the desire to end it softly, but that was pretty weak, Connie.

Maroulis was one of the only contestants to feel comfortable in this category, and also one of the only performers to elicit a complement from Simon, who uttered one of his best lines of the season when he called what he just saw “the best pouting performance ever on American Idol.”

A few weeks ago in the semifinals, Simon told CARRIE UNDERWOOD that no matter what she sang, she sounded fantastic. Tonight was no exception, as she picked “Hello, Young Lovers” from The King and I. It wasn’t her best performance, but that’s simply because she’s already posted so many dazzling numbers.

But it was still a shade disappointing, and Simon’s point about it being too old-fashioned was right on, even if it did get lost in his bizarre analogy. Carrie is exceedingly likable, but she hasn’t shown that “fun” quality yet. She had a golden opportunity during ’60s week, but fell flat. She’ll still go very far in the competition, but could run the risk of being bounced in the final weeks if her competitors can compete vocally and are more fun onstage.

VONZELL SOLOMON thought that “People” from Funny Girl would show off her range. It did. Vonzell gave another marvelous performance, though she may face a bit of the same problem as Carrie, in that the song she picked was simply boring.

But the girl’s definitely got a set of pipes, and she has used them well in recent weeks. She may just have the best voice in the competition this side of the farm girl from Oklahoma. She is one of four I’d consider mortal locks to move on.

Before we move on, I was just wondering: Is it possible to install a seat belt on Paula’s chair? She needs to be strapped down before she ruins the meaning of a standing ovation.

ANTHONY FEDOROV – again without the glasses, though oddly looking even younger this week – needed a big performance after last week’s excruciating performance. He tried for it with “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” from The Sound of Music.

It was OK. The ending note could have been a shade higher, but overall Anthony was still miles better than last week’s dreadful effort. But he wasn’t particularly mesmerizing, and his stage act didn’t work – he does all right with the uptempo stuff, but he can’t sway worth his salt. About the only thing he did up there didn’t look ridiculous was his eyes-closed send-off to the band.

The kiss of death came from the judges. Randy hated it, Paula doesn’t matter because she’s lost all credibility by this point, and Simon didn’t even bother trying to be nice again. He simply called it “hideous," "horrible” and "awful." Before he could get much nastier, Ryan Seacrest cut him off, but even Ryan won’t be able to save Anthony from returning to the bottom three.

NIKKO SMITH picked a selection from a most classical musical, West Side Story, when he sang “One Hand, One Heart.” Should Nikko go on to win this competition, he’ll likely to be the first Idol with his own clothing line. Week to week, Nikko has consistently been the most stylish contestant.

His songs haven’t always matched his outfits, and he fell a bit short again this week. The song had some promise, but Nikko failed to deliver completely, especially at the end when he was obscured by his background vocals. He certainly did enough to move on, though I wouldn’t guarantee he’ll avoid the bottom three.

ANWAR ROBINSON picked another slow and boring showtune, “If Ever I Would Leave You” from Camelot. He did a nice job, with one ghastly slip-up leading into the final belt-out line. It was a wonderful improvement over last week, and should send him on for another week.

BO BICE picked out a book, closed his eyes, and pointed to “Corner of the Sky” from Pippin (1972). Finally, someone picked an uptempo piece. Despite that, it was still boring. It wasn’t suitable for Bo’s voice – not sure anything from a musical would be – and it didn’t fit his personality either.

But he’ll still stand out from this week’s crowd, and based on his past performances alone, he’ll sail through into next week when he should be able to return to a genre he’s a better fit for.

NADIA TURNER went with “As Long As He Needs Me” from Oliver. She’s been noticeably prickly when the judges have told her that she doesn’t have the greatest voice in the competition (even though that comment usually precedes another compliment), so apparently she wanted to prove the doubters wrong. It didn’t work.

She sang the song well, but it showcased nothing more than her vocals, along with her limitations. Her voice simply isn’t in the same ballpark as the other two remaining women. What she brings is performance, though in her defense it probably would have been tough for her to rock out to a showtune.

Just about all of the contestants were out of their element, though Nadia and Bo seemed the farthest away. While Bo has the backing to make it through easily at this point, Nadia may not. It would not be a surprise at all to see her back in the bottom three.

But she won’t leave yet. Not with Anthony and Scott still around. One of them won’t be next week. The pick here is Anthony, as Idol continues its purge of teenage competitors.